{"id":28306,"date":"2013-06-26T02:43:55","date_gmt":"2013-06-25T23:43:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/?page_id=28306"},"modified":"2013-06-26T02:45:32","modified_gmt":"2013-06-25T23:45:32","slug":"alper-kamu-cehennem-cicegi-on-okuma","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/on-okumalar\/alper-kamu-cehennem-cicegi-on-okuma\/","title":{"rendered":"Alper Kamu Cehennem \u00c7i\u00e7e\u011fi | \u00d6n Okuma"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

ALPER KAMU<\/span><\/strong><\/span>
\nCEHENNEM \u00c7\u0130\u00c7E\u011e\u0130<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1. baba yar\u0131s\u0131, vefas\u0131z kar\u0131s\u0131<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Bilirsiniz, insanlar do\u011far, \u00f6l\u00fcr ve sonra b\u00fcy\u00fcr.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben de be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131n bahar\u0131nda, pay\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fen \u00f6l\u00fcmlerden nasiplenerekten ya\u015fay\u0131p gitmekteydim i\u015fte. Aylardan hep kas\u0131m, g\u00fcnlerden hep per\u015fembe olan ve saatin hep \u00f6\u011fleden sonra \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi kasvetli d\u00fcnyamda, yemek masas\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f harakiri yapman\u0131n inceliklerine dair resimli bir kitab\u0131n sayfalar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirirken, sevgili validem her zamanki gibi \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r y\u0131k\u0131yor ve d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan gelen seslere bak\u0131l\u0131rsa mahallenin kedileri de yakalad\u0131klar\u0131 bir ku\u015fu par\u00e7al\u0131yordu. Ortalama u\u011fursuzlukta bir g\u00fcnd\u00fc anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z. Derken zil \u00e7ald\u0131. Felaketlerin kokusunu alma konusunda d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en yetenekli insan\u0131 olan annem \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r le\u011fenini kenara f\u0131rlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi bir solukta kap\u0131da bitti. Gelen babamd\u0131. Hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmadan \u00f6ylece duruyordu. Bir s\u00fcre sessiz birbirlerine bakt\u0131lar. Ben de oldu\u011fum yerden sessiz onlara bakt\u0131m. Sonunda annem, \u201cNebi Abi?\u201d dedi ve babam h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fuldu. Evimize yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 ender ziyaretlerde, bana har\u00e7l\u0131k olarak her zaman tedav\u00fcldeki en b\u00fcy\u00fck paray\u0131 vermesi hasebiyle az \u00e7ok sempatimi kazanan Nebi Amcam\u2019\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm haberini i\u015fte b\u00f6yle alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Kim bilir, belki evimizi terk etti\u011fi anda ilgili banknotu derhal anneme teslim etmem gerekmese, ona derin bir sevgiyle ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f dahi olabilirdim? Netice itibar\u0131yla insan\u0131n varl\u0131klar\u0131n en y\u00fccesi oldu\u011funu ben s\u00f6ylemedim, de\u011fil mi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam g\u00fc\u00e7 bela kendini tuvalete att\u0131. Be\u015f dakika kadar sonra d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda g\u00f6zleri kan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 ve y\u00fcz\u00fc \u0131slakt\u0131. \u00c7ok seviyordum onu. Zaman zaman ke\u015fke bunu ona daha \u00e7ok g\u00f6sterebilsem diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum. Annemle bir \u015feyler konu\u015ftuktan sonra ceketini s\u0131rt\u0131na ge\u00e7irdi. Yan\u0131na gidip, \u201cBa\u015f\u0131n sa\u011folsun baba,\u201d dedim. E\u011filip beni \u00f6pt\u00fc. Bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemedi. San\u0131r\u0131m a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7sa tekrar a\u011flayacakt\u0131. \u201cNereye gidiyorsun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi\u00e7… Hi\u00e7bir yere yavrum,\u201d dedi annem ve \u00fcz\u00fclerek belirtmeliyim ki bu, her zamanki s\u00f6zlerinin mant\u0131\u011fa uygunluk ortalamas\u0131n\u0131n fazla alt\u0131nda say\u0131lmazd\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam bir iki yutkunup, \u201cAmcan\u0131n evine o\u011flum,\u201d dedi. \u201cBirka\u00e7 par\u00e7a bir \u015fey alaca\u011f\u0131m oradan.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen de geliyorum,\u201d diyerek lastik ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 aya\u011f\u0131ma ge\u00e7irdim.<\/span><\/p>\n

Annem bir trajedi sahnelemeye haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu ki babam ka\u015f g\u00f6z i\u015faretiyle onu durdurdu. Ne de olsa kendisini daha \u00f6nce gecenin bir yar\u0131s\u0131 \u0130stanbul\u2019un bir ucundaki meyhanelere kadar kovalam\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m vard\u0131 ve kafama koydu\u011fum \u015feyi, \u00f6yle ya da b\u00f6yle mutlaka yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Babamla gezmeye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z birka\u00e7 sefer amcam\u0131n evine de u\u011fram\u0131\u015ft\u0131k. Beyo\u011flu\u2019nun izbe ara sokaklar\u0131ndan birindeki izbe bir apartman\u0131n en izbe dairesinde oturuyordu. Evin i\u00e7i, d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan bile daha berbat bir haldeydi. B\u00fct\u00fcn e\u015fya, d\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fc birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a mobilya ile k\u0131rk y\u0131ll\u0131k siyah beyaz bir televizyondan ibaretti. Ortal\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6yle bok g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcyordu ki, ancak a\u00e7l\u0131ktan \u00f6lmek \u00fczere olan bir fare, sevdikleriyle helalle\u015ftikten sonra i\u00e7eri ad\u0131m atmaya cesaret edebilirdi. Rutubet, bir ast\u0131ml\u0131y\u0131 tek nefeste \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015flerinin yan\u0131na postalayabilecek d\u00fczeydeydi. \u00dcstelik yoksul biri falan da say\u0131lmazd\u0131 amcam. Varl\u0131kl\u0131 de\u011fildi ku\u015fkusuz ama iyi k\u00f6t\u00fc bir emekli maa\u015f\u0131na sahipti ve kendine daha d\u00fczg\u00fcn bir hayat kurabilirdi. Peki neden b\u00f6yle sefil bir hayat s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmeyi se\u00e7mi\u015fti?<\/span><\/p>\n

Anneme g\u00f6re, a\u015fk y\u00fcz\u00fcnden.<\/span><\/p>\n

Amcam, deli gibi \u00e2\u015f\u0131k oldu\u011fu kar\u0131s\u0131 Feriha birka\u00e7 y\u0131l \u00f6nce kendisini terk edince hayata k\u00fcsm\u00fc\u015f, peri\u015fan olmu\u015f. Annemin anlatt\u0131klar\u0131na bak\u0131l\u0131rsa, evliyken amcamla yengemin d\u00f6rt d\u00f6rtl\u00fck bir hayatlar\u0131 varm\u0131\u015f. Etiler\u2019de harika bir evde ya\u015f\u0131yorlarm\u0131\u015f. Evleri her zaman tertemizmi\u015f. Feriha Yengem temizli\u011fe o kadar d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f ki, misafirler pis ayaklar\u0131yla evin olur olmaz yerlerini kirletmesinler diye hal\u0131larla onlara bir y\u00fcr\u00fcme yolu \u00e7izmi\u015f. Evde ancak, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 hal\u0131larla belirlenmi\u015f bu darac\u0131k alanlarda y\u00fcr\u00fcme imkan\u0131 bulunuyormu\u015f. Yengem evde bas\u0131lmamas\u0131 gereken yerlerin alt\u0131na may\u0131n d\u00f6\u015femediyse, bunun nedeni kan lekesinin \u00e7ok zor \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131ym\u0131\u015f. Deterjan, \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r suyu ve leke \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131c\u0131 donan\u0131ml\u0131 bu peri masal\u0131 herhalde biraz annemin harikulade hayat tan\u0131m\u0131yla ilgili. Her durumda, anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m, bu ikisinin on y\u0131l kadar birlikte ya\u015famay\u0131 ba\u015farm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu. Sonra bir g\u00fcn hangi nedenleyse aralar\u0131nda bir kavga \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f ve amcam \u2018her \u015feyi kendisini kap\u0131 d\u0131\u015far\u0131 eden yengeme b\u0131rakarak\u2019 evden ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. Feriha bir s\u00fcre sonra Laz bir m\u00fcteahhitle evlenmi\u015f. Amcam da i\u015fte bir garip mecnun olmu\u015f.<\/span><\/p>\n

Amcam\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 -ve \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc- apartman\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131na var\u0131nca babam kap\u0131c\u0131n\u0131n zilini \u00e7ald\u0131. Epeyce bir bekledikten sonra kap\u0131 otomati\u011fine bas\u0131ld\u0131 ve biz de i\u00e7eri girdik. Ufak tefek, kel, b\u0131y\u0131kl\u0131 kap\u0131c\u0131 bize boka bakar gibi bak\u0131yordu. \u201cE\u015fyalar\u0131 almaya geldin herhalde,\u201d dedi apa\u00e7\u0131k bir k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsemeyle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNe e\u015fyas\u0131?\u201d dedi babam. \u201cEvi g\u00f6rece\u011fiz.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kap\u0131c\u0131 bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden, fesupanallah modeli bir i\u00e7 \u00e7eki\u015fle dairesine girdi. Evinin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rakmas\u0131na bak\u0131l\u0131rsa bir ara avdet etmeyi de planl\u0131yordu. Nitekim birka\u00e7 dakika sonra elinde bir anahtarla tekrar kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdayd\u0131. Kafas\u0131yla, \u00fcst kata \u00e7\u0131kan merdivenleri i\u015faret ederken gereken a\u00e7\u0131klamay\u0131 yapt\u0131: \u201c\u015e\u015f\u00fc\u00f6\u00f6\u00f6…\u201d A\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00fcst kata g\u00fcd\u00fcl\u00fcrken neden bize bu kadar k\u0131zd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 da \u00f6\u011frenme \u015fans\u0131m\u0131z oldu. \u201cSa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda hi\u00e7 bakan\u0131, ilgileneni yoktu zavall\u0131n\u0131n. Aray\u0131p soran bir akrabas\u0131 neyin… Biz de olmasak \u00e7oktan \u00f6l\u00fcr giderdi ya… Helali ho\u015f olsun.\u201d Hakikaten dokunuyordu bu laflar babama. Y\u00fcz\u00fcnden anlayabiliyordum. Biraz daha uzat\u0131rsa bayraml\u0131k a\u011fz\u0131m\u0131 a\u00e7acakt\u0131m \u00e7aresiz. Merdivenleri konu\u015fmadan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca, vicdan\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n sesi kapatt\u0131 art\u0131k \u00e7enesini diye umutlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Ne ki pu\u015ft en a\u011f\u0131r sald\u0131r\u0131y\u0131 en sona sakl\u0131yormu\u015f. Amcam\u0131n dairesinin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p \u0131\u015f\u0131k otomati\u011fine bast\u0131 ve k\u0131ll\u0131 parmaklar\u0131yla zemini i\u015faret etti. Yerde, yar\u0131s\u0131 dairenin i\u00e7ine uzanan, yuvarlak kocaman bir leke vard\u0131. \u201cNah burada \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f,\u201d dedi. \u201cBunlar da kan kusmuk lekesi. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn temizledim, bu kadar \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Kan kayb\u0131ndan gitmi\u015f zaten zavall\u0131… Bu devirde mide kanamas\u0131ndan adam m\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcr? Biri olsa, kald\u0131rsa hastaneye kurtulurdu ama…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam\u0131n i\u00e7eri ad\u0131m atarken sendeledi\u011fini fark ettim. Y\u00fcz\u00fc kire\u00e7 gibiydi. Arkas\u0131ndan eve girip elimi h\u00e2l\u00e2 e\u015fi\u011fin di\u011fer taraf\u0131nda duran kap\u0131c\u0131n\u0131n koca g\u00f6be\u011fine dayad\u0131m. Herif\u00e7io\u011flu darbenin bu kadar al\u00e7aktan gelece\u011fini beklemiyordu besbelli. Surat\u0131ma bo\u015f bo\u015f bakarken dairenin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 surat\u0131na \u00e7arpt\u0131m. D\u00fcnyadaki sefil varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n m\u00fcsebbibi adam\u0131n elini tuttum. \u201c\u0130yi misin baba?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam zoraki g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 evet anlam\u0131nda sallad\u0131. Derin bir nefes al\u0131p amcam\u0131n salonuna y\u00f6neldi. Pe\u015finden gittim. Perdeler kapal\u0131yd\u0131. Muhtemelen, y\u0131llard\u0131r. Odada kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 duran iki sedir, bo\u015f kitapl\u0131k, televizyon ve televizyonun kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki tek ki\u015filik koltuk… Hi\u00e7biri insanda bir duygu uyand\u0131rm\u0131yordu. Ya da sevgisizlik bir duyguysa, bu evin insana hissettirdi\u011fi tek \u015fey buydu. Bir bar\u0131nak olman\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda en ufak bir anlam ta\u015f\u0131mayan d\u00f6rt duvar. Amcam\u0131n bu eve neredeyse bilerek k\u00f6t\u00fc davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce belirdi kafamda. Belki de bu hayat\u0131n\u0131 reddetmek, ba\u015fka bir t\u00fcrl\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funa, h\u00e2l\u00e2 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olabilece\u011fine dair bir umudu korumas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131yordu. Kim bilir?<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam, elleri pard\u00f6s\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn cebinde ortal\u0131\u011fa \u015f\u00f6yle bir bakt\u0131ktan sonra, herhalde a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmeyeyim diye h\u0131zl\u0131 ad\u0131mlarla evin i\u00e7 k\u0131sm\u0131na y\u00f6neldi. Ben de onu rahats\u0131z etmemek i\u00e7in televizyonun kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki koltu\u011fa \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fcm. Koltu\u011fun hemen yan\u0131ba\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck sehpan\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir votka \u015fi\u015fesi duruyordu. B\u00f6yle durumlarda \u00e7o\u011funlukla \u015fi\u015fenin yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n bo\u015f oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme e\u011filimi ta\u015f\u0131sam da, s\u00f6z konusu alkolken di\u011fer tarafa yo\u011funla\u015fmaktan alam\u0131yordum kendimi. \u015ei\u015fenin kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirip ucuz votkay\u0131 kafama dikledim. A\u011fz\u0131m dilim cay\u0131r cay\u0131r yand\u0131 ama \u00e7ivi \u00e7iviyi s\u00f6ker deyip bir yudum daha ald\u0131m. Babam\u0131n biralar\u0131n\u0131n dibinde kalanlar\u0131 gizlice dikleye dikleye, ciddi bir alkol al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 edinmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m galiba.<\/span><\/p>\n

Biraz demlendikten sonra kalk\u0131p i\u00e7eri g\u00f6z att\u0131m. Babam, amcam\u0131n yatak odas\u0131ndaki komodinlerin \u00e7ekmecelerine bak\u0131yordu. Ben de a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r antreye y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Antredeki tek mobilya \u00e7ift kanatl\u0131, eski, kocaman bir gard\u0131roptan ibaretti. Gard\u0131robun kap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 iki yana a\u00e7t\u0131m ve g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm manzara kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa kap\u0131ld\u0131m. Hepsi \u00e7ok eski olmakla birlikte, hayli \u015f\u0131k tak\u0131m elbiseler, armal\u0131 ceketler, fularlar, eksantrik g\u00f6mlekler… Hi\u00e7, b\u00f6yle bir evde ya\u015fayan birinin sahip olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnece\u011finiz t\u00fcrden giysiler de\u011fildi bunlar. Do\u011frusu s\u0131rf bu gard\u0131roba bakan biri rahatl\u0131kla, mezar\u0131na haber gitmesin, rahmetlinin eski pezevenklerden oldu\u011funa h\u00fckmedebilirdi. G\u00f6mleklerden birka\u00e7\u0131 benim de ho\u015fuma gitmi\u015fti a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7as\u0131 ama bir g\u00fcn o boyutlara ula\u015fabilece\u011fime dair pek umudum yoktu, o y\u00fczden hepsini oldu\u011fu yerde b\u0131rakmaya karar verdim.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ask\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcndeki rafta duran materyal, \u00f6te yandan, ilgin\u00e7 olabilirdi. Gard\u0131robun alt k\u0131sm\u0131ndaki \u00e7ekmecelere t\u0131rman\u0131p yukar\u0131da ne var ne yok diye incelemeye giri\u015ftim. Dikkatimi ilk \u00e7eken, siyah ciltli, eski kitaplar oldu. Birka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7evirip isimlerini okudum. Pardayan Engizisyona Kar\u015f\u0131,<\/i> Pardayan\u2019a Kar\u015f\u0131 Fausta, Pardayan\u2019\u0131n A\u015fk\u0131… <\/i>H\u0131zla ciltleri <\/i>sayd\u0131m. Tam on tane. Muhtemelen Pardayanlar\u2019\u0131n en eski, T\u00fcrk\u00e7e bas\u0131m\u0131yd\u0131 bu, hem de eksiksiz halde. Benim olacaklard\u0131. Amcam\u0131n ruhuna sevecen bir k\u00fcf\u00fcr sallad\u0131ktan sonra g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ganimetin geri kalan\u0131na \u00e7evirdim. Bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131n eski pla\u011f\u0131n ve ne id\u00fc\u011f\u00fc belirsiz baz\u0131 aksesuvarlar\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck po\u015fete uzand\u0131m g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle. Z\u0131mb\u0131rt\u0131y\u0131 kap\u0131p gard\u0131roptan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 atlad\u0131m. Po\u015fetin i\u00e7i t\u0131ka basa, amcama ait eski foto\u011fraflarla doluydu. Foto\u011fraflar\u0131n yan\u0131nda bir de alyans vard\u0131. Amcam\u0131n evlilik y\u00fcz\u00fc\u011f\u00fc. Hayat\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131 Feriha\u2019dan kalan tek hat\u0131ra olmal\u0131yd\u0131 bu.<\/span><\/p>\n

O ara babam elinde bir dergi y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131yla yan\u0131mda bitiverdi. Onlar nedir diye sormak \u00fczereydim ki, hepsinin seks dergisi oldu\u011funu fark ettim. Belli ki, bunlar\u0131n amcam\u0131n evinde bulunmas\u0131n\u0131 istemiyordu. Ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceli adamd\u0131 \u015fu benim babam. Gard\u0131robun yan\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f naylon torbalardan birini kap\u0131p uzatt\u0131m ona. \u201cElindekileri buna koy istersen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Babam i\u00e7eriklerini bana g\u00f6stermemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak dergileri torbaya t\u0131karken, \u201c\u015eimdi ne yapaca\u011f\u0131z?\u201d diye sordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKap\u0131c\u0131yla bir konu\u015faca\u011f\u0131m,\u201d dedi omuz silkerek. \u201cBorcu falan varsa amcan\u0131n, onlar\u0131 halletmek laz\u0131m.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cE\u015fyalar?\u201d \u201cKap\u0131c\u0131ya b\u0131rak\u0131r\u0131z.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBunlar amcam\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131,\u201d dedim elimdeki po\u015feti g\u00f6stererek. \u201c\u0130zin verirsen almak istiyorum.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlal\u0131m tabii. \u0130yi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fs\u00fcn.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBir de \u015funlar var,\u201d dedim. \u201cEski plaklar ve kitaplar. Onlar\u0131 da alal\u0131m, olmaz m\u0131?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOlur.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte b\u00f6yleydi. Elli k\u00fcs\u00fcr y\u0131ll\u0131k bir hayattan geriye miras, iki adi po\u015fet kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 elimizde. Biri, en yak\u0131ndaki \u00e7\u00f6pl\u00fc\u011fe at\u0131lmak \u00fczere.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7\u0131k\u0131\u015fta kap\u0131c\u0131 bizi ilkin yine buz gibi kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131ysa da, babam\u0131n kalan e\u015fyalar\u0131 kendisine b\u0131rakaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenince tav\u0131r de\u011fi\u015ftiriverdi birden. Tabii onca i\u015f g\u00fc\u00e7 aras\u0131nda insan\u0131n ba\u015fkalar\u0131na ay\u0131racak vakit bulamamas\u0131n\u0131n ne kadar do\u011fal oldu\u011fundan, zaten kendisinin de, Allah affetsin ama, zaman zaman \u00e7ileden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u00f6z anas\u0131n\u0131 nas\u0131l d\u00f6vd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden falan dem vurmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Allah\u2019\u0131n belas\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mahalleye d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fczde, bakt\u0131m kopuk arkada\u015flar\u0131m G\u00fczelyayla Apartman\u0131\u2019n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde k\u00fcmelenmi\u015f; biraz sokakta tak\u0131lmak istedi\u011fimi s\u00f6yleyerek babam\u0131 eve yollad\u0131m. Yak\u0131n \u00e7evrem tam tak\u0131m haz\u0131rd\u0131. Kans\u0131z Celal, Cemalettin ve Burhan. Bunlar\u0131n hepsi birka\u00e7 ya\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fckt\u00fcr benden ve birka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131 pataklam\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m olmasa \u00f6lseler beni aralar\u0131na kabul etmezler. Neyse ki hayatta en \u00e7ok orman kanununa sayg\u0131 duyan g\u00fczel insanlard\u0131r hepsi.<\/span><\/p>\n

Can yolda\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 bu saatte futbol ya da misket oynarken ya da birbirlerinin can\u0131na kast ederken de\u011fil de normal insanlar gibi oturmu\u015f konu\u015furken g\u00f6rmek tuhaf\u0131ma gitmi\u015fti. \u201cHayrola,\u201d diye girdim lafa. \u201cSava\u015f plan\u0131 falan m\u0131 yap\u0131yoruz?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kendisini asker\u00ee mevzular\u0131n direkt muhatab\u0131 g\u00f6ren Burhan, \u201cHay\u0131r,\u201d dedi. \u201c\u015eu aralar b\u00fct\u00fcn kom\u015fular\u0131m\u0131zla ate\u015fkes halindeyiz. Ama tabii tetikte olmak laz\u0131m. Hi\u00e7birine g\u00fcvenilmez bu orospu \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n. Bilhassa Paris Mahallesi\u2019nin bir bask\u0131n haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ku\u015fkulan\u0131yorum. Talimleri aksatmamak laz\u0131m yani…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

B\u0131raksam sabaha kadar konu\u015facakt\u0131 manyak. \u201cMesele nedir \u00f6yleyse?\u201d dedim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00d6ff,\u201d diye surat\u0131n\u0131 ek\u015fitti Cemalettin. \u201cNe kokuyorsun sen b\u00f6yle le\u015f gibi?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBiraz i\u00e7tim,\u201d dedim. \u201cEfkarl\u0131y\u0131m da.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cArtist!\u201d diye dalga ge\u00e7ti Cemalettin. \u201c\u0130\u00e7ki i\u00e7mi\u015f! Kimi kand\u0131r\u0131yorsun o\u011flum sen?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo\u011fru s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum,\u201d dedim kederli ama metanetli bir ifade tak\u0131narak. \u201cAmcam\u0131 kaybettik.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Bizim aram\u0131zda \u00f6l\u00fcm hakk\u0131nda \u015faka yap\u0131lmaz. O y\u00fczden daha fazla uzatmad\u0131lar. \u201cBa\u015f\u0131n sa\u011folsun,\u201d dedi Burhan.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do\u011fu\u015ftan skeptik ve s\u00fcm\u00fckl\u00fc Cemalettin, \u201cSever miydin ki?\u201d diye sordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHer geldi\u011finde bir y\u00fczl\u00fck verirdi,\u201d dedim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cC\u00f6mert adamm\u0131\u015f.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa da b\u00fcy\u00fck bir vicdan azab\u0131 vard\u0131.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kafas\u0131 iki elinin aras\u0131nda, konu\u015fulanlara pek ilgi g\u00f6stermez gibi duran Kans\u0131z Celal birden, \u201cHayretimucip ya!\u201d diye \u00fcnledi a\u011flamakl\u0131 bir sesle.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNeyse o\u011flum art\u0131k,\u201d dedi Cemalettin, Kans\u0131z\u2019a. \u201cOlan olmu\u015f. Yiyeceksin sopay\u0131 \u00e7aresiz.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNesi var bunun?\u201d diye sordum. \u201cMotosikleti \u00e7arpm\u0131\u015f,\u201d dedi Burhan. \u201cNe motosikleti?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBabam\u0131n mobileti yok mu o\u011flum,\u201d diye c\u0131rlad\u0131 Kans\u0131z. \u201cOnu alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m i\u015fte biraz dola\u015fay\u0131m diye…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDuvara toslam\u0131\u015f lavuk,\u201d diye sadede geldi Cemalettin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBabam anam\u0131 belleyecek,\u201d diye d\u00fcped\u00fcz a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131 Kans\u0131z.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cemalettin s\u00fcm\u00fckl\u00fc ve skeptik oldu\u011fu kadar radikal bir ger\u00e7ek\u00e7iydi de. \u201cOhooo, o i\u015fi \u00e7oktan yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r zaten…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kans\u0131z bir anda y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir hayvan gibi \u00fcst\u00fcne at\u0131l\u0131p yakas\u0131na yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Cemalettin\u2019in. \u201cDo\u011fru konu\u015f lan annem hakk\u0131nda!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNe var lan! Yalan m\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum yani?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kans\u0131z, bir hamlede Cemalettin\u2019i boyunduru\u011fa al\u0131p yere y\u0131kt\u0131ktan sonra bo\u015ftaki yumru\u011fuyla surat\u0131na \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. \u201cGeri al lan s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc, geri al!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBurhan,\u201d dedim. \u201cAy\u0131rsana \u015funlar\u0131, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc seveyim…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cL\u00fczum yok,\u201d dedi Burhan kafas\u0131yla soka\u011f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 i\u015faret ederek. Hakl\u0131yd\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKans\u0131z,\u201d dedim. \u201cBaban geliyor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kans\u0131z Celal panik halinde toparlan\u0131p, kararl\u0131 ad\u0131mlarla bize do\u011fru yakla\u015fan babas\u0131na bakt\u0131. Bir an bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemeye niyetlendi belki ama \u015fairin de dedi\u011fi gibi bunun kelimelerin kifayetsiz kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 o \u00f6zel anlardan biri oldu\u011funu gayet isabetle ve h\u0131zla kavray\u0131p varg\u00fcc\u00fcyle tersi istikamete do\u011fru topuklad\u0131. Yan\u0131m\u0131zdan r\u00fczg\u00e2r gibi ge\u00e7en babas\u0131n\u0131n vaadiyse, Cemalettin\u2019in tespitinde ne kadar hakl\u0131 oldu\u011funu g\u00f6steriyordu: \u201cSenin anan\u0131…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cE\u015f\u015fo\u011flue\u015fek benden \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor h\u0131nc\u0131n\u0131,\u201d diye s\u00f6ylendi Cemalettin boynunu ovu\u015ftururken.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHakl\u0131 o\u011flum \u00e7ocuk,\u201d dedi Burhan. \u201cHi\u00e7 \u015fikayet etme. Anas\u0131na k\u00fcfrettin herifin. Analar kutsald\u0131r.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYa ne alakas\u0131 var? Ne k\u00fcf\u00fcr\u00fc? Sanki senin baban senin…\u201d Cemalettin o en b\u00fcy\u00fck hatay\u0131 yapmak \u00fczereyken, Burhan\u2019\u0131n \u00e7ehresindeki psikopatik metamorfozu tam zaman\u0131nda fark edip laf\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirdi. \u201cAbi ben mi dedim git baban\u0131n motosikletini al duvara \u00e7arp diye… Hepsi M\u00fcmtaz Abi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHaydaa,\u201d dedim. \u201cM\u00fcmtaz Abi de nereden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 \u015fimdi?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYahu D\u00fcld\u00fcl alm\u0131\u015f ya buna babas\u0131,\u201d diye hi\u00e7bir \u015fekilde anlamland\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ba\u015fka bir laf etti Cemalettin.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cD\u00fcld\u00fcl ne lan?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ok s\u00fcper bir \u015fey,\u201d diye at\u0131ld\u0131 Cemalettin az \u00f6nceki gaf\u0131n\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 etkiyi bir an \u00f6nce da\u011f\u0131tma tela\u015f\u0131yla. \u201cK\u0131pk\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 b\u00f6yle, spor araba gibi.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cemalettin\u2019in hamlesi ba\u015far\u0131ya ula\u015fm\u0131\u015f, Burhan ilgisini s\u00f6z konusu s\u00fcper objeye \u00e7evirmi\u015fti. \u201cHani lunaparklarda \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fan otolar olur ya, onun gibi bir \u015fey, ama tekerleklisi,\u201d dedi. \u201cDireksiyonu, pedallar\u0131 falan var. Bir pedala bas\u0131yorsun gidiyor, di\u011ferine bas\u0131yorsun duruyor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cO kadar s\u00fcper bir aletin ad\u0131n\u0131 niye D\u00fcld\u00fcl koymu\u015flar peki?\u201d diye sordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00d6yle,\u201d dedi Burhan. \u201cMarkas\u0131 bu: D\u00fcld\u00fcl. Babam s\u00f6yledi.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Burhan\u2019\u0131n babas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcnahlar\u0131n\u0131 daha fazla kurcalamak niyetinde de\u011fildim. \u201cCelal\u2019in motosiklet kazas\u0131yla alakas\u0131n\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 anlamad\u0131m,\u201d dedim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDaha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcks\u00fcn de ondan,\u201d dedi s\u00fcm\u00fckl\u00fc, bir havalar yaparak. Sonra da alaca\u011f\u0131 yan\u0131ttan korkarak alelacele a\u00e7\u0131klamaya giri\u015fti. B\u00f6yle de \u00e7ekinirler benden. \u201c\u015eu Zuhal var ya, Selim Amca\u2019n\u0131n k\u0131z\u0131…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEee?\u201d Her c\u00fcmlesinde yeni bir bilinmeyen i\u00e7eren bu a\u00e7\u0131klama nereye varacak meraklanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130\u015fte M\u00fcmtaz Abi buna yan\u0131km\u0131\u015f, D\u00fcld\u00fcl\u2019le k\u0131za hava at\u0131yormu\u015f. Kans\u0131z da g\u0131c\u0131k olmu\u015f buna…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAllah Allah? Niye ki?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cO\u011flum koca koca kitaplar okuyorsun ama baz\u0131 konular\u0131 hi\u00e7 bilmiyorsun ha,\u201d dedi Cemalettin iyice keyiflenerek. \u201cNiye olacak? Kans\u0131z da hasta Zuhal\u2019e. M\u00fcmtaz Abi\u2019nin havas\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6nd\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in babas\u0131n\u0131n motosikletini araklam\u0131\u015f. Sonra da… daaan! Duvara bindirmi\u015f i\u015fte geri zekal\u0131.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

O baz\u0131 konular\u0131 Cemalettin\u2019i a\u011flatacak kadar iyi bildi\u011fim hususunu es ge\u00e7ip, \u201cVay be,\u201d dedim. \u201c\u015eu sidikli Zuhal\u2019in a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015flere bak.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cK\u0131z\u0131n ne su\u00e7u var lan!\u201d diye \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131 Burhan ve o anda anlad\u0131m ki bizim Aslan Asker \u015evayk da meftunu kom\u015fu k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n.<\/span><\/p>\n

O s\u0131rada G\u00fczelyayla Apartman\u0131\u2019n\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131 araland\u0131 ve i\u00e7eriden on-onbir ya\u015flar\u0131nda, ufak tefek, kavruk bir \u00e7ocuk \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcze bakmaks\u0131z\u0131n, ba\u015f\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnde aram\u0131zdan s\u0131yr\u0131l\u0131p yolun kar\u015f\u0131 taraf\u0131na ge\u00e7ti ve Bakkal Yakup\u2019un d\u00fckkan\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeki kald\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n kenar\u0131na \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc. \u201cNe ayak bu?\u201d diye sordu Burhan, Cemalettin\u2019e.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYeni \u00e7ocuk,\u201d dedi Cemalettin. Sanki mahpusa veya kerhaneye d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f birinden s\u00f6z ediyordu. Biz de gediklileriydik bu bok \u00e7ukurunun. Bilemiyorum, belki de pek yanl\u0131\u015f bir yakla\u015f\u0131m de\u011fildir. \u201cGe\u00e7en ay ta\u015f\u0131nd\u0131lar bizim apartmana.\u201d Bu arada Cemalettin\u2019in babas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z konusu apartman\u0131n sahibi de\u011fil kap\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 oldu\u011funu belirtmeden ge\u00e7emeyece\u011fim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cE bir ayd\u0131r buradalar, nas\u0131l oldu da g\u00f6rmedik daha \u00f6nce?\u201d diye sordu Burhan. \u201cHem sonra niye yan\u0131m\u0131za gelmiyor lavuk? Selams\u0131z sabahs\u0131z ge\u00e7ip kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za oturuyor dalga ge\u00e7er gibi…\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Do\u011frusu ellerini bacaklar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131na s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f, boynu b\u00fck\u00fck ve surat\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl bir keder ifadesi ta\u015f\u0131yan bu zavall\u0131n\u0131n kimseyle dalga ge\u00e7er gibi bir hali yoktu. Daha ziyade Kemalettin Tu\u011fcu romanlar\u0131ndan f\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f bir kader kurban\u0131na benziyordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

B\u00fcy\u00fck ihtimalle bizimle sosyalle\u015fmekten ka\u00e7\u0131nmas\u0131 utanga\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan ya da korkakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan kaynaklanmaktayd\u0131. Neyse, Burhan\u2019\u0131 da fazla su\u00e7lamamak laz\u0131m. Ne de olsa empati hi\u00e7bir b\u00fcy\u00fck liderin \u00f6nde gelen niteliklerinden biri say\u0131lmaz. \u201c\u0130smini biliyor musun?\u201d diye sordum.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAlt\u0131 numara,\u201d dedi Cemalettin burnunu \u00e7ekerek.<\/span><\/p>\n

B\u00fcy\u00fck adamd\u0131 \u015fu Marx hakikaten. Nas\u0131l bir cam i\u015f\u00e7isi s\u00fcrahiye, ar\u0131tma tesisi i\u015f\u00e7isi ise s\u00fcrahideki suya odaklan\u0131yorsa, G\u00fczelyayla Malikanesi s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 sorumlusunun veliaht\u0131 Cemalettin i\u00e7in de, o apartmanda ya\u015fayan insanlar\u0131n kimli\u011fini en iyi tan\u0131mlayan \u00f6zellik, oturduklar\u0131 dairelerin kap\u0131 numaralar\u0131yd\u0131 i\u015fte.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen gidiyorum,\u201d dedi Cemalettin s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131yla. \u201cAk\u015fam servisine \u00e7\u0131kaca\u011f\u0131m.\u201d Cemalettin\u2019in b\u00fcy\u00fck abisi Zafer askere gitmi\u015f, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck abisi Gazanfer ise birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce i\u00e7eri al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, bu y\u00fczden de apartmandakilerin bokunu p\u00fcs\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131ma, \u00e7\u00f6p\u00fcn\u00fc toplama gibi i\u015fler bizimkine kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cB\u0131rakm\u0131yorlar m\u0131 daha abini?\u201d diye sordu Burhan.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYok. Biraz zor bu sefer. D\u00f6vd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc adam yo\u011fun bak\u0131mdaym\u0131\u015f h\u00e2l\u00e2.\u201d Gazanfer bizim oralar\u0131n bir numaral\u0131 psikopat\u0131 ve can d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131md\u0131. Hastanedeki eleman i\u00e7in biraz \u00fcz\u00fclmekle birlikte, Gazanfer manya\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir s\u00fcre ortal\u0131kta dolanmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmek i\u00e7imi rahatlat\u0131yordu ne yalan s\u00f6yleyeyim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGidip \u015fu alt\u0131 numaraya bir ho\u015fgeldin diyelim mi?\u201d diye sordum Burhan\u2019a.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYok,\u201d dedi Burhan. \u201cBana selam vermeyen adama ho\u015fgeldin demem ben. Eve gidece\u011fim.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130yi \u00f6yleyse,\u201d dedim. \u201cBir bakay\u0131m neyin nesiymi\u015f \u015fu eleman.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Burhan\u2019\u0131 da yolcu ettikten sonra \u00f6nce soluma sonra sa\u011f\u0131ma sonra bir kez daha soluma ve yolun ortas\u0131na gelince tekrar sa\u011f\u0131ma bak\u0131p, Gazanfer taraf\u0131ndan ezilmeyece\u011fimden emin, kar\u015f\u0131ya ge\u00e7tim. Her ne kadar ezeli d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131m\u0131n tutuklu oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015fsem de, siz de bilirsiniz ki al\u0131\u015fmak sevmekten daha zor ve yok yere g\u00f6t alt\u0131na gitmekten evlad\u0131r. Bakkal Yakup\u2019a, elbette hesab\u0131m\u0131za yaz\u0131lmak \u00fczere, iki gazoz a\u00e7t\u0131r\u0131p alt\u0131 numaran\u0131n yan\u0131na oturdum. \u015ei\u015felerden birini ona uzatt\u0131m. Bo\u015f g\u00f6zlerle bana bakt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHo\u015fgeldin,\u201d dedim. \u201c\u0130lk gazoz, ikram\u0131m\u0131z.\u201d Bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemeden gazozu ald\u0131. Kendimi tan\u0131tt\u0131m. \u201cSenin ad\u0131n ne?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00dcmit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Hi\u00e7 de ismiyle uyumlu bir haleti ruhiye i\u00e7inde g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu \u00dcmit. \u201cHayrola,\u201d dedim, \u201cKaradeniz\u2019de gemilerin mi batt\u0131?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSiirtliyiz biz,\u201d diye cevap verdi \u00dcmit. \u201cYeni mi geldiniz \u0130stanbul\u2019a?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYok, \u00f6nceden geldik.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNe i\u015f yap\u0131yor baban senin?\u201d diye sordum yeni arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 biraz daha tan\u0131mak i\u00e7in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBir i\u015f yapm\u0131yor. \u0130ki sene \u00f6nce i\u015f kazas\u0131nda \u00f6ld\u00fc babam, sonra biz de buraya geldik i\u015fte.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBenim de amcam \u00f6ld\u00fc,\u201d \u015feklinde yersiz bir kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verdim. \u201cD\u00fcn.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Kafas\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131, kendi kendine konu\u015fur gibi sordu: \u201c\u0130\u015f kazas\u0131ndan m\u0131?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130\u00e7kiden.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAllah rahmet eylesin.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Bir s\u00fcre sessizce gazozlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7tik. \u201cEee?\u201d dedim sonunda. \u201cNe d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun bizim mahalle hakk\u0131nda?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBilmem. \u0130yi,\u201d diye omuz silkti. \u201cO deminki \u00e7ocuklar arkada\u015flar\u0131n m\u0131?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00d6yle,\u201d dedim. \u201cSen de tan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n.\u201d \u00c7ok da hevesli de\u011fildi sanki \u00dcmit yeni arkada\u015flar edinmeye. Belki mahalleyi tan\u0131rsa kendini biraz daha buraya ait hisseder diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek \u00d6mer Cemal Bey Sokak\u2019\u0131n turistik ve k\u00fclt\u00fcrel a\u00e7\u0131dan pek matah bir yer say\u0131lmasa da, stratejik \u00f6nemi nedeniyle \u00e7ok \u00f6zel bir jeopolitik konumda bulundu\u011funu anlatt\u0131m ona. Kom\u015fular\u0131m\u0131z Ye\u015filoba Sokak ve Da\u011f\u00e7ile\u011fi Sokak\u2019la ayda en az birka\u00e7 kez sava\u015fa girdi\u011fimizden, s\u0131k\u00e7a yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z futbol ma\u00e7lar\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131kan ufak tefek arbedeleri saymazsak Yaprak Sokak\u2019la genel olarak iyi ge\u00e7indi\u011fimizden falan s\u00f6z ettim. Ayr\u0131ca on ya\u015f\u0131ndan \u00f6nce adam b\u0131\u00e7aklamayana k\u0131z bile verilmeyen Paris Mahallesi\u2019nden uzak durmas\u0131n\u0131 ve ezkaza yolu oral\u0131 biriyle kesi\u015firse, bu g\u00fczide semtimizde en a\u011f\u0131r hakaret kabul edilen \u201cl\u00fctfen\u201d s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc asla ve kat\u2019a kullanmamas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6zellikle tembihledim.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBurada sava\u015f m\u0131 var?\u201d Birden fena halde endi\u015felenmi\u015f g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u015eu anda hay\u0131r, ama her an olabilir,\u201d dedim. Betinin benzinin att\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark edince ekledim: \u201cKorkacak bir \u015fey yok ama.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerini g\u00f6zlerime dikti. \u201cSava\u015ftan herkes korkar.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Buna bir kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k vermedim. Neden s\u00f6z etti\u011fini bilen birini hemen tan\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. \u201cFutbol oynar m\u0131s\u0131n?\u201d diye sordum konuyu de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPek oynamam,\u201d dedi huzursuzca. \u201cSaat ka\u00e7 oldu acaba?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBilmem. Be\u015f falan olmu\u015ftur herhalde. Hayrola, birini mi bekliyorsun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnnem ile day\u0131m\u0131.\u201d \u201cNeredeler ki?\u201d \u201cHastanede.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cEvde kimse yoksa gel bizde bekle istersen,\u201d dedim. \u201cYemek falan yeriz hem.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAblamlar var evde, istersem giderim.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130yi o zaman,\u201d dedim. \u201cBen ka\u00e7ay\u0131m art\u0131k, annem birazdan pirelenmeye ba\u015flar.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSen bizim apartmanda m\u0131 oturuyorsun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u0131r,\u201d diyerek kendi oturdu\u011fumuz apartman\u0131 i\u015faret ettim. \u201c\u015eu en \u00e7irkin olan bina var ya, \u00c7elikel Apartman\u0131, orada oturuyoruz biz.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKa\u00e7 karde\u015fsiniz?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Giderayak muhabbet edece\u011fi tutmu\u015ftu eleman\u0131n anla\u015f\u0131lan. Yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131na beklemek istemiyordu herhalde. \u201cKarde\u015fim yok,\u201d dedim. \u201cTek \u00e7ocu\u011fum ben.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBenim iki tane ablam var,\u201d dedi. \u201cBir de erkek karde\u015fim. Mehmet. Sekiz ya\u015f\u0131nda. Sen ka\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131ndas\u0131n?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBen be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nday\u0131m.\u201d Bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylemesine f\u0131rsat vermeden ekledim. \u201cBiliyorum be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131nda gibi de\u011filim. Bu benim lanetim.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00dcmit\u2019in y\u00fcz\u00fcnde ilk kez bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme belirdi. \u201c\u0130yi \u00e7ocuksun sen,\u201d dedi. \u201cBenim karde\u015fim olur musun?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnlamad\u0131m?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHatta istersen kan karde\u015fi oluruz,\u201d deyip \u015fak diye bir \u00e7ak\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131 cebinden. Afallam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Bir anda evrimin o \u015fa\u015fmaz kural\u0131 geliverdi akl\u0131ma: Herkes g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden daha tehlikelidir.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00dcmit,\u201d dedim, \u201cistersen biraz daha a\u011f\u0131rdan alal\u0131m ili\u015fkimizi.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00d6z karde\u015fimden ayr\u0131 tutmam seni. \u0130yi \u00e7ocuksun sen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSa\u011fol,\u201d dedim. \u201cSen de iyi bir arkada\u015fa benziyorsun.\u201d Kabul. Biraz t\u0131rsm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSen bilirsin,\u201d diyerek \u00e7ak\u0131y\u0131 kapatt\u0131. Bile\u011fimi do\u011framas\u0131na izin vermedi\u011fim i\u00e7in g\u00fccenmi\u015fti galiba bana.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHem zaten senin bir karde\u015fin yok mu?\u201d dedim belki ortam yumu\u015far diye.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00d6ld\u00fc benim karde\u015fim.\u201d \u201cNe? Mehmet \u00f6ld\u00fc m\u00fc?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131yla onaylad\u0131. \u201cD\u00fcn \u00f6ld\u00fc. Amcanla ayn\u0131 g\u00fcn. Annemle day\u0131m onun i\u00e7in hastanedeler i\u015fte.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130yice aptala d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. \u00c7ok \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm, ba\u015f\u0131n sa\u011folsun gibilerinden bir \u015feyler geveledim. Ne diyebilirdim ki? \u201cNas\u0131l oldu peki?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00dcmit gazozunu dipleyip bo\u015f \u015fi\u015feyi yan\u0131na koydu, bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcme \u00e7evirdi. \u201cBen \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcm.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Yazar, ALPER CANIG\u00dcZ<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

ALPER KAMU CEHENNEM \u00c7\u0130\u00c7E\u011e\u0130   1. baba yar\u0131s\u0131, vefas\u0131z kar\u0131s\u0131 Bilirsiniz, insanlar do\u011far, \u00f6l\u00fcr ve sonra b\u00fcy\u00fcr. Ben de be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131n bahar\u0131nda, pay\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015fen \u00f6l\u00fcmlerden nasiplenerekten ya\u015fay\u0131p gitmekteydim i\u015fte. Aylardan hep kas\u0131m, g\u00fcnlerden hep per\u015fembe olan ve saatin hep \u00f6\u011fleden sonra \u00fc\u00e7\u00fc g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi kasvetli d\u00fcnyamda, yemek masas\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131na b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f harakiri yapman\u0131n inceliklerine dair resimli bir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":4833,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"fullwidth.php","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-28306","page","type-page","status-publish"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28306\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4833"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kayiprihtim.org\/portal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}